Query Letter, hard edit

So many months ago I wrote a query letter for an agency, which I thought to be really good. I looked at it today, read it, and to me, it seemed O.K., not great, and I figured from reading it that it was probably a little unclear as to what the book was about. I wrote in a bunch of stuff that kept the reader guessing, which is good in a story, but not so good in a business letter. I think I was being too creative in the letter, in hopes that my writing style would come through, but looking back, it's all about the brevity of the story, and the story should speak for itself. I had my wife look it over, and she's a wonderful critic and editor. She pointed out all the crap and confusing parts of the letter. I cleaned it up, showed it to her again, and again she pointed out the crap in the letter, a little less the second time. I cleaned it up a third time and then . . . put it away and took a break. I'm going to go back to it again here very soon, clean it up again before I show it to her for a third time. I can't thank her enough for her help. So that's what's in the workings.